


where troubles melt like lemon drops

by lavenderstars (pinktrixie)



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, and sofia is truly mark's daughter and is an agent of chaos, feat. very long wizard of oz metaphors, the heart necklaces™
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinktrixie/pseuds/lavenderstars
Summary: In a shocking moment of clarity, she was reminded of The Wizard of Oz. Before Arizona, in her post-George, post-Erica haze, her world had been drained of colour, just muted greys and blacks and whites, where she just floated through, barely feeling. And then Arizona walked into that bathroom and everything was in technicolour.
Relationships: Arizona Robbins/Callie Torres
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	where troubles melt like lemon drops

**Author's Note:**

> title from "over the rainbow" 
> 
> welcome to the chaos of the 2k one shot that's actually 13k and increasingly chaotic

“Alright, Sof, have you got everything you need? Do you have your books for the plane? It’s a long flight, you know.” Arizona anxiously ran her fingers through Sofia’s hair, desperate to not show the ache in her heart. And so she was hovering. 

Sofia nodded, her dark eyes filled with tears. “‘ve got  _ Matilda  _ and my myths book that Pops and Nana gave me for Christmas.” Her bottom lip wobbled and Arizona’s heart broke for the thousandth time at the sadness in her daughter’s eyes. But they had to do this - for Callie. 

Because that was how Arizona’s life went these days. How much more of herself could she give to Callie, how much more could she let Callie take before there was nothing left. Sofia was all she had, but if moving Sofia with her to New York was what would make Callie whole, then that is what she would do. She had ruined Callie. She was the one who broke everything. So it was only fitting that she was the one who lost everything in the end, regardless of courts and custody and whatever else. 

“Good, good. You might need Mama to help you with the myths one. Some of those names are tricky.” Arizona swallowed back all of the words that she wanted to say. “Maybe ask Mama if she’ll help you read about the muses. You’ll have to tell me which one is your favourite.” Arizona knew which one was hers. 

“D’you promise to call every night, Mommy?” Sofia asked suddenly, her fingers gripping the hem of Arizona’s sweater tightly. “I… I don’t like going to sleep without you, Mommy. At least, when, y’know, I was just at Mama’s or Zola’s you were so close, but you’re gonna be so, so, so far away.” 

Arizona bit her cheek until she tasted blood. “Of course, Sof, I’ll try to call every night that I can. And if you ever need anything, you can always call me. You know that, right? I’ll always be here for you, Sofia.” 

“But you won’t be with me.” 

“I won’t, but you’ll have Mama. A-a-and Penny.” Sofia pouted, looking somehow so much like both Mark and Callie. “I’ll see you in a few weeks when you come back to visit, okay, Sofia? And we’ll have the best time. But first, you need to go with Mama and make her happy in New York and you’ll get to go on all sorts of adventures and go to the zoo and have pizza and I’m sure you could talk your Abuelo into taking you shopping and you’ll have the best time. You might, you might not even want to come back here ‘cause you’ll have such a fun time there.” Of course, Arizona didn’t tell Sofia that if that happened, she’d shatter to pieces. 

Sofia, ever astute, asked quietly, “Are you sad, Mommy? ‘Cause you said that I make Mama happy and that’s why I’m going to New York. Does that mean that I don’t make you happy? ‘Cause I remember Carly sayin’ that she only lived with her mommy and her new husband ‘cause her daddy didn’t want her.” 

Arizona cast her gaze skyward in an attempt to hide her tears from Sofia. Sofia didn’t know that she had fought so hard for her, that she had burned everything down to keep Sofia with her. But as always, Arizona couldn’t bear to see Callie sad, no matter what Callie had said or done during the custody trial. 

“No, no, Sofia. Never think that I don’t love you, that I don’t want you. I love you so, so much. I love you right up to the moon and back, Sof,” she said, quoting one of Sofia’s favourite books when she was smaller. 

“Then why, why are you sending me away?” 

“Because,” she paused, unsure how truthful she should be with her daughter, “because I can’t stand to see your Mama so sad and she can’t be happy here so far away from,” Arizona swallowed back the sourness in her mouth, “the woman she loves and she shouldn’t have to choose between someone who makes her happier than she’s ever been and you. So if you going with her can make your Mama smile again, then I think that’s well worth it. Because, you know, Mama’s got a super magic smile.” Sofia hummed in agreement, but she still looked doubtful. “I know it’ll be hard to move, but just think how happy Mama will be. And both of us want Mama happy right?” Sofia nodded even as some tears spilt down her cheeks. “You are so, so brave, my Sofia. You’re a good man in a storm and I know that you can be strong for Mama. I am so beyond proud that you’re my daughter. Never forget that.” 

“I love you, Mommy,” cried Sofia, throwing herself into Arizona’s arms. Arizona clung to her, holding Sofia as close as possible. “And I’m gonna miss you so much.” 

“I know, Sofia, I know. But I’ll see you soon. So, so soon.” 

“And you’ll always love you.” 

“Sofia Robbin, I can’t imagine a world where I don’t love you the most. I have loved you since you were in Mama’s tummy and I heard your strong, little heartbeat. And I feel even more in love with you when you were the tiniest, most perfect baby. And I’ll love you all the way in New York. No matter how far away you are, I will always love you. You… you and your Mama always have my heart.” 

Arizona’s phone buzzed on the dining room table next to where the last of Sofia’s things sat waiting. Reluctantly, she pulled away from Sofia to check it. 

“Mama’s outside. Are you ready, Little Miss?” 

“Uh-huh.” Sofia lifted her chin and straightened her back just like her Pops had shown her. 

Arizona brushed back a few loose strands of hair from Sofia’s eyes. She was in the process of grabbing Sofia’s jacket when a thought struck her. 

“Sof, can you get your coat on? I have something I want to give you.” 

“Ooh, a present, Mommy?” 

“Something like that,” Arizona said as she rushed to her bedroom. 

Pushing aside the pain radiating out from her heart, she retrieved an old lunch box from the back of her closet. She took a moment as she always did to trace over the worn letters of Tim’s most treasured lunch box, Captain America in mid-motion. The latches creaked open, revealing an odd assortment of treasures. 

A stack of polaroids of her and Tim and Nick from the summer they spent working at a beach shack in California. A baseball card she had stolen from her older brother when she was 6. Her grandmother’s engagement ring that Tim’s fiance had returned to her parents after his death, but they couldn’t bear to keep it. Her grandfather’s Silver Star. One of her father’s Purple Hearts. Tim’s Ranger pin and a set of his dog tags he had given her before his first deployment. The receipt from Joe’s the night she kissed Callie in a dirty bar bathroom. The ring Callie had given her. Sofia’s bracelet from the hospital. And of course, the heart necklace that she had worn for so long that it felt as if a piece of her was missing without it. 

She carefully pulled the necklace out of the box, mindful of the other items. She took a moment to stare at the small heart, the morning sunlight catching the gold softly as it spun. 

“Mommy!” Sofia called, breaking Arizona out of her reverie. 

“Coming, Sof!” She hurried back to her daughter, who had dutifully put on her coat, her butterfly backpack on her shoulders. “Sorry, just wanted to give you this.” She held out the necklace for Sofia to see. 

“Your heart necklace? I thought they were super special.” 

Arizona squatted down in front of Sofia. “It is super special. You see, Sof, with this necklace, you’ll always have my heart with you. Because everything I love will be in New York, so you’d be taking my heart anyway.” She pulled Sofia’s hair to the side so she could latch the necklace. “There, it looks perfect. It’ll be our little secret.” 

“Thank you, Mommy. I love you.” Sofia threw herself into her arms, burying her face in her mother’s neck. The hug was finally interrupted by a loud knock at the front door. 

“You’d better get going, Sof. Don’t want you to miss your flight.” Sofia grumbled a bit as they separated, a slight pout on her face. “No pouting, Little Miss.” They made their way to the front door, where, sure enough, Callie was waiting, a slightly anxious look on her face. “Hi Callie. Sofia’s all ready to go.” 

“Arizona. You ready, Sof?” 

“Yep, Mama.” But Sofia made no move away from Arizona. 

“Sofia, we’ve got to get going. We’re gonna miss our flight.” 

Arizona frowned, but didn’t say anything further to Callie. Instead, she pulled Sofia into another hug, trying to imprint her smell and feel of her in her mind. “You’re a good man in a storm, Sofia. And remember what we talked about,” she whispered in Sofia’s ear, ignoring the look Callie was giving her. Finally, they separated. 

“Why don’t you get in the car, Sof?” 

Sofia nodded before giving Arizona one more hug. “I love you, Mommy. I’ll talk to you tonight. Promise?” 

“Of course, I love you too, Sofia Robbin.” 

Sofia bustled off to the car, practically throwing herself into the back seat. 

Arizona leaned against the doorframe, a bit unsure if she could stay upright without some support. 

Callie lingered for a moment and it looked as if she wanted to say something, but then thought better about it. She settled on just saying, “Goodbye, Arizona.” And it actually seemed final. All the other goodbyes had felt temporary, but this, this felt final. 

Arizona just nodded, not trusting her voice in the moment. 

But as Callie started to walk away, she found herself calling out, “Hey, Callie?” 

Callie stopped, turning to face her, an unreadable expression on her face. “Yeah?” 

“I really hope you find what you’re looking for. You deserve to be happy.” 

“So do you, Arizona.” 

Arizona wanted to scream at her that she was taking all of the happiness with her. That for all of Callie’s endless empathy and her impossibly big heart, she was such a selfish creature. Instead, Arizona just leaned further into the doorframe and tried to smile at her ex-wife. Callie waited for a few beats as if she was waiting for Arizona to say something more. But Arizona was out of things to say that wouldn’t ruin everything. 

And so Callie left. 

And Arizona watched as her heart left. 

It was only once they had turned the corner that Arizona let herself break down, stumbling back into her house, collapsing back against the door as terrible, heartbreaking sobs were ripped from her throat. 

xx 

“Sofia, you need to hurry up and get out of the shower. You’re going to be late to your…” Penny paused, unable to remember which of the many activities her girlfriend’s daughter was late for. 

“Dance class!” 

“Right, your dance class. Grace is already here to pick you up.” She tapped her foot impatiently outside of the only bathroom currently working. The other one only ran cold water, leaving them crunched for space. “Sofia, c’mon, I need to get to work!” 

The door burst open, revealing the young girl in a butterfly robe that she had insisted Callie buy, even when her mother tried to say no. Not that Penny was critizing Callie’s parenting, but sometimes it seemed like Sofia only needed to snap her fingers and Callie fell over backwards. And anytime Penny tried to bring that up, Callie inevitably replied that Sofia was just adjusting to life in New York. But it had been months now and Penny thought the little girl was going to become spoiled. It didn’t help that Arizona sent little presents all the time, mainly books so they could read together, but still. 

She watched as Sofia walked to her room, calling out for Grace, “Hi Gracie, can you help me braid my hair? Like how my mommy showed you the other day?” 

Sofia’s nanny, a postgraduate student from Columbia, quickly joined the girl, shooting Penny a wave from down the hall. 

Penny just sighed and slipped into the bathroom. She was already going to be late at this rate. Callie had an early meeting to discuss some sort of research proposal. Honestly, she wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like Callie ever wanted to speak about work these days. 

As she was stepping out of the shower, she noticed a necklace on the lip of the shower, hanging half-in, half-out. A small gold heart hanging from a thin gold chain with a broken latch. She picked it up, frowning slightly. It looked expensive. At first, she thought it might be Sofia’s, but it seemed too expensive for a five-year-old. No, wait, was she seven? Regardless, it seemed too nice to trust a kid with. It must be Callie’s, even if she had never seen it before. 

Maybe it was a gift from her father. He always was giving both Callie and Sofia exorbitant gifts. Callie said it was his way of staying connected and in a small way, apologizing for how he had reacted all those years ago when Callie came out. Penny honestly could never get a read on the man. He had visited almost every two weeks, but Penny frequently had to work longer hours than Callie and so had only met him a few times. He wasn’t particularly friendly, more just passively polite. Callie claimed he was always like that. But the way he talked about Arizona, it didn’t sit right with her. For God’s sake, the first time they met, he had spent the entirety of dessert telling Sofia about how Arizona had convinced him to be a better man. Something about battleships and storms, to be fair, Penny had had about an entire bottle of wine to herself at that point. 

Still frowning, she wound the chain around her fingers so she didn’t lose it. 

Setting it down on her bedside table, she moved to get dressed and dry her hair. She let out a small sigh of relief when she heard Sofia and her nanny leave. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Sofia, she did. But she never had any time with Callie. Half the time she was working insane hours and the other half Callie was spending with Sofia. Or Sofia had nightmares and Callie had to hold her. Or Sofia had dance or gymnastics or piano or whatever else. Penny had mistakenly thought that it would be like having a little family with Callie and Sofia. But it was more like they were a little family and Penny was also there. 

She sighed heavily. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. She just had really thought things would be different in New York away from Derek Shepherd’s ghost and ex-wives and the history of it all. 

She was broken out of her spiralling thoughts when her pager went off. She hurried out of the room, leaving the gold necklace on her nightstand. 

xx 

Sofia was not having a good week. Like at all. She loved school and she had even made some friends and the teacher was nice. And she  _ loved  _ her dance teacher so much. But that wasn’t the problem. It was her mommy’s necklace. 

Sofia hadn’t so much as taken it off since her mommy gave it to her all those months ago. But the other day, all of the sudden, she had realized it was missing. She liked to hold it when she went to sleep when she had nightmares and she didn’t want to bother her mama. She knew her mama didn’t mind, but sometimes both her mama and Callie seemed annoyed when she went in their room at night. So Sofia held onto her mommy’s necklace and looked at the picture of her moms and her dad with her in her dad’s arms at their wedding that she had stolen from an album at Zola’s house. Aunt Mer had caught her, but just smiled sadly and let her take it. Neither of her moms knew she had it and she intended to keep it that way. 

But she lost the necklace and she hadn’t been able to find it. She asked her teacher at school if she had seen it and Mrs Donaldson had made an announcement but no one had seen it. Then she asked her piano teacher, and her gymnastic teacher, and her dance teacher, but they hadn’t seen it either. Gracie had looked through her car, but no luck there either. She was terrified that she lost it in Central Park when she and Gracie had gone to the Butterfly Gardens a few days ago. She’d never find it there. 

She was going to have to tell her mommy she had lost the necklace. Her mommy had said it was like Sofia taking her heart with her and she had lost it. Her moms had never talked about the necklaces, but she had seen enough old photos to realize that her mama had one too and neither of them wore them anymore. 

Her mommy had been super busy the past few days so they’d only managed a few phone call, including a really funny one when her mommy had been saving babies and made Alex read her a story. Alex grumbled about it, but did it anyway, even doing funny voices and everything. He had then threatened everyone with something that made her mommy yell at him for saying. 

She missed all of the people at the hospital. She missed playing with Zola in daycare and how her mommy would come and take her for walks at lunch. She missed how Alex would give her piggyback rides and shoulder rides around her mommy’s ward and give her candy out of his pocket. And how Jo would sit and braid her hair, telling her funny stories. And how Bailey would tell her stories about her parents, about how her mama was a rock star and her mommy was a menace with a ponytail and her daddy was a word that she didn’t know, but that he had a good heart. And April would sit and draw with her and show her how to draw all sorts of animals, since you know, she lived on a farm. 

She had to be strong for her mama and her mama wasn’t so sad anymore, just like her mommy said. But she thought her mommy looked really sad whenever she saw her on the computer. And she was pretty sure that she had been crying before Sofia spoke to her on Christmas when she couldn’t go home to Seattle because of a big storm. But her mama didn’t know that Mommy had told her to make her happy and her mama never asked about Mommy, so Sofia never said anything. 

But she needed to find that necklace. And soon, because it was getting hard to sleep again. She kept having nightmares of leaving her mommy or losing her mommy or her mama and nothing made them go away. But she liked to pretend if she held the necklace tight enough, her mommy would know and send happy thoughts and make the nightmares go away. Mama tried, but she wasn’t as good at it as Mommy. 

After checking that her mama was deep in her work in her office and Penny was in the kitchen working on dinner, Sofia set to methodically pulling out every stuffed animal and toy in her room, throwing them across the floor. Once she had determined the necklace hadn’t gotten tangled with any of her toys, she pulled her sheets off her bed, mindful to move her secret picture, its edges worn, from its hiding place under her bed to its cleaning day hiding spot in the  _ Harry Potter _ book set her mommy had given her. 

But it still wasn’t there. 

Sofia stared around her room, wincing at the mess she had made. Her mama was going to  _ kill  _ her. 

xx 

Callie pinched the bridge of her nose after pushing her reading glasses up into her hair. She had been staring at these charts for way too long. The bones were starting to move around and blend together. 

She wanted to bounce her ideas for the spinal surgery off of someone, but she barely spoke with her colleagues in her department, all of them convinced she was there to steal surgeries and steal the entire research budget. Which she wasn’t, for the record. And Penny didn’t have much interest in ortho and wasn’t particularly good at pretending to be. It stung a bit that her girlfriend seemed to think that her job was just glorified carpentry, but she figured Penny was young and that was a common thought. 

Callie straightened up in her desk chair, groaning as her back popped and cracked. “Fuck,” she hissed, rolling her neck side to side. One of her scrub nurses suggested she see a chiropractor but the idea sort of really freaked her out. 

She stood slowly, stretching her arms above her head. She considered her options for a moment before deciding to retrieve the heat pad from her bedroom. 

After searching through her things, she came up empty, then she remembered Penny had borrowed it last week during her period. Penny tended to leave her side of the bed cluttered with books and journals and water cups, so she had to sift through it all. 

She tossed a few journals on to her bed and her heart stuttered. An intensely familiar necklace was on Penny’s bedside table, previously covered by the journals. 

She hadn’t seen that necklace in so long, but it brought back a flood of memories. Her and Arizona teasing Bailey the day they had gotten them. Pressing a kiss to the spot it rested on Arizona’s breast bone as she grinned devilishly up at her before kissing her way down Arizona’s body. How Arizona always used to fiddle with Callie’s when they snuggled together. The way Sofia used to grab at them when she was a baby. Those necklaces had been so representative of their love for each other, it was off-putting to see it amongst Penny’s things. 

But maybe, maybe it was just a similar necklace. It was a heart, not exactly a unique shape. But God, it looked like it. 

Callie lifted it gingerly as if she was afraid to damage it. She examined it carefully, seeking out the long scratch along one side from the plane crash. Callie choked on a laugh. That was certainly poetic. Permanent damage to their hearts from the plane crash. 

But her nostalgia and amusement faded to anger and confusion. How could Penny have this? She was almost positive Arizona had taken it with her when she moved out. She knew hers was safely tucked away in a small jewellery box her grandmother had given her along with her rings from both George and Arizona and a charm bracelet Mark had given her after Sofia’s birth. Maybe Arizona had left it and Penny had found it in Callie’s jewellery and borrowed it. 

The idea of Penny wearing turned her stomach. 

“Penny!” 

“What?” 

“Can you come here please?” 

“Give me a minute!” 

“Penny, can you come here now?” She yelled back, her voice cracking towards the end. Why did her heart hurt like this? Was it that Penny had it? Or that she was so thrown off by seeing it? Or was it that she was mad that Arizona didn’t have it, that she had left it behind? 

A series of loud footsteps echoed through the otherwise quiet apartment. Penny appeared in the doorway, her expression pinched. “What, Callie? I’m in the middle of chopping vegetables.” 

“Where… no, why do you have this?” She brandished the necklace towards her girlfriend.

“I found it-” 

“And what, you just thought you’d take it?” She snarled, surprising even herself at how angry she sounded. “Penny, you can’t just take things.” 

“Calliope!” She stepped further into the room. “You do not get to scold me like I’m Sofia.” 

“Yeah, well, Sofia knows not to take things that aren’t hers!” 

“I didn’t-” 

“It was on your nightstand. With your things.” 

“Christ, if I knew you were going to be so pissy about it… Whatever Callie. Take it back. I was going to give it to you anyway.” 

Something sour twisted in Callie’s gut at that. “It’s not yours to give.” 

“Oh my God, Callie. It’s just a stupid necklace. Look, do whatever you want with it. I really don’t-” 

“Why’d you take Mommy’s necklace?” Sofia appeared behind Penny, squeezing past the red head and running to Callie’s side. “Did you steal it?” She asked, spinning to face Penny. 

“What? Are you serious? Calliope, c’mon.” 

But Callie ignored her, choosing instead to kneel down in front of Sofia, holding the necklace out in her palm for Sofia. “Did Mommy give this to you or did you take it?” 

Sofia’s brow furrowed. “She gave it to me. Can I have it back?” 

“Of course. If she gave it to you, it’s yours to keep. You need to keep it safe though, it’s a very important necklace.” Callie delicately placed it in her palm, folding her fingers around it. 

“I know, Mama,” Sofia said, nodding fiercely. 

Callie pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sof, why don’t you go back to your room and work on your homework?” Sofia nodded again, but she had the same guilty expression that Arizona always had when she snuck a cigarette. Callie tucked that away for another time. Right now, she needed to deal with this. She glanced up to Penny, who was stood by the end of their bed, arms crossed tight across her chest and a scowl on her face. 

Sofia hurried off, shooting a nasty look Penny’s way. Penny’s frown deepened, but she said nothing to Sofia. 

“It’s Arizona’s. Is that why you freaked out on me?” Penny spat out Arizona’s name the same way she always did, as if saying it might summon the woman there. Callie stood slowly to her feet, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. “God, Calliope, it’s just a stupid necklace!” 

“It’s not!” 

“Are you serious right now?” 

“Those necklaces were from our first Valentine’s Day together and look, they’re just important. We wore those necklaces for years through our surgeries and accidents and everything in between.” 

If possible, Penny’s expression darkened further. “Those? It’s not just hers?” 

Callie sighed heavily, fixing her gaze at a point past Penny’s head. “I have a silver one. I haven’t worn it since the divorce.” Callie retrieved the small jewellery box from her sock drawer, opening it and showing Penny the contents. 

“But you still have it. I get Arizona keeping hers. She’s clearly not over you. But you’re with me now, you don’t need trinkets from your ex-wife.” Penny leaned closer to examine the box. “Jesus, Calliope, you still have your wedding rings, are you serious?” 

“I also have my wedding rings from George. They’re an important part of me,” she defended, holding the box closer, away from Penny. 

“Yeah,” Penny scoffed, “They cheated on you. Seems real important.” Immediately, her face fell. “Cal-”

“No, no, you’ve done enough today.” Callie held up her empty hand. “I need to talk to Sofia.” Again, Penny’s face soured. “What, do you have a problem with me speaking with my daughter?” 

“Of course not. All you ever do is focus on Sofia. That girl could do with a bit more tough love, that’s all. You coddle her and Arizona just encourages her behaviour.” 

Callie’s eyes narrowed at that. “I don’t remember asking you for your opinion on mine or Arizona’s parenting. We are her mothers, not you.” 

“Yes, that has been made explicitly clear, Calliope.” 

“Callie!” 

“What?” 

“Stop it, stop calling me Calliope!” 

“I’ve always called you that. You like it.” 

“No, I hate it. The only people who I let call me Calliope are my dad and-” 

“Arizona,” Penny finished with a sneer. “Of course, precious Arizona. The woman who cheated on you and then tried to take away  _ your  _ daughter.” 

“ _ Our  _ daughter. And the only reason she ‘tried to take her away’ as you put it was because I wanted to move here with you.” 

Penny let out a bitter laugh, throwing her hands in the air. “Of course, how could I forget? It’s all my fault. God forbid, I do something for my career. Sorry, I don’t have multiple patents pending on my research. Sorry, I’m not fucking triple board-certified. Unlike you and your freakin’-walks-on-water ex-wife, I still have to put in the work. I didn’t get millions because of some fluke accident. I don’t own a goddamned hospital. So, forgive me,  _ Callie _ , if I have to think about my career first. I’m not Arizona-freakin’-Robbins. I can’t just throw away a grant like she did. I’m not a god. I’m not one of the Shepherds. I’m not you,” she accused, jabbing a finger towards Callie, who took a half-step back. 

“And I’ve supported you! I uprooted my entire life to support you! I uprooted my daughter for you. I put everyone through that nightmare of a custody trial. For you. Because I wanted to be here, with you. Supporting you because you shouldn’t have to give up a grant.” 

“Oh, yes, of course, you have been so wonderfully supportive,  _ Callie _ .” 

“That is completely unfair, Penny, and you know it.” 

Penny rolled her eyes, finally turning away from Callie. “You can’t even say you love me for God’s sake! And don’t give me that crap about being burned before, that’s bullshit and you know it! You spend all of your time with Sofia-” 

“Because we’re living in a new city and she’s only six-” 

“She’s a child. She’d actually adjust if you’d stop coddling her and letting Arizona tell her about how she can move back home.” 

“What are you talking about?” She hadn’t heard anything like that from Arizona in any of their sporadic conversations or what she had over heard from Sofia. 

“All she talks about it how  _ great  _ it is in Seattle and how after a year, Sofia gets to go home. It’s literally all they talk about! Are you stupid, Calliope?” Penny spat out, sneering at her girlfriend. 

Callie swallowed back her initial thought, which was that she kind of wanted to go home too, instead saying, “God, Penny, she misses her mom and Arizona’s just telling her about the people and things she’s known her entire life. That’s all.” 

“You are so naive and blind when it comes to Arizona! She literally guilt trips Sofia about not being there. The other month, that day when you got stuck in surgeries for like 24 hours straight, Arizona kept going on about how she would take Sofia to see Mark and how it was such a  _ bummer _ ,” she imitated Arizona’s voice poorly with an eye roll, “that she couldn’t have gone with her and Meredith and how she wanted to make sure Sofia didn’t forget about Mark. Like, clearly, she’s trying to make Sofia feel bad that she can’t visit her dad’s gravesite.” 

Callie’s heart twisted painfully. She was well aware that Mark and Arizona had gotten over their issues in the end and that Arizona had made sure Mark made it back to say goodbye. But it still pulled at something deep inside her to know that Arizona went to Mark’s grave and that she told Sofia about it. Callie had done her best to make sure that Sofia knew as much as was age-appropriate about her father, going so far as to ask Addison what some of Mark’s favourite things in New York so she could share that with Sofia. 

“Penny, of all the ridiculous things, that’s… Arizona and I both go out of our way to speak with Sofia about Mark so she can know him. Her talking about Mark isn’t part of some malicious plot to steal Sofia away from me. It’s her being a good person and an amazing mom!” 

“Do, do you even hear how you speak about her? She can do no wrong! It’s ridiculous!” 

“What do you even mean? I almost never even mention her. In case, you’ve forgotten, I’m with you. She’s my ex-wife and the mother of my child, that’s all. Are you really this insecure?” Callie snarled, deeply exhausted with Penny’s behaviour. Their entire relationship, they hadn’t had any serious, intense fights. Minor disagreements and a few break-ups, sure. But never any drag-out fights. Even with George, they had fought. With Penny, it was just flat and level and easy. But was that what she wanted? Inhaling sharply, she took a moment to stare at Penny. The longer she looked, the less reason she could see to stay with Penny. 

In a shocking moment of clarity, she was reminded of  _ The Wizard of Oz _ . Before Arizona, in her post-George, post-Erica haze, her world had been drained of colour, just muted greys and blacks and whites, where she just floated through, barely feeling. And then Arizona walked into that bathroom and everything was in technicolour. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but everything was more, more vibrant, more intense. And then, it was like she was back in black and white. But now she knew what the colours looked like and she kept trying to find them again. 

At one point, she had thought that Penny would bring back the colours. But it was just an allusion. 

“We should break up.” 

“What?” Penny spun around, eyes blazing. 

“I want to break up. We’re breaking up.” 

“You’re joking, right?” 

“No. I’m not.” 

“Calliope, I didn’t mean what I said. I love you. You love me. The rest of it, it doesn’t matter. We can fix this.” 

_ I love you and you love me and none of the rest of it matters _ . Arizona’s words from so long ago echoed in her mind. 

“I don’t.” She stared blankly at Penny. “I care about you and I want you to be happy. But I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry.” 

“You’re such an asshole, Calliope Torres,” Penny shouted, roughly grabbing a bag from the closet, just throwing clothes in. “I’m going to stay at Libby’s. I… I’m not going to beg.” 

“I wouldn’t want you to.” 

Penny fixed her with a glare, a swirling mix of anger and hurt and Callie felt guilty for hurting her so deeply. But this was for the best. 

“If you let me walk out the door, that’s it. We’re done. I’m done playing your games. Have fun with your slut of an ex-wife.” Callie just nodded, sinking down onto the bed. Numbly, she watched her now ex-girlfriend pack a bag, occasional tossing out harsh insults, before finally storming out of the apartment and her life. 

Callie blinked a few times in an effort to clear her head. Something heavy weighed in her hand. She glanced down. Her grandmother’s jewellery box. 

She opened it for the second time that night, brushing her fingers over her wedding rings from George, all cheap Vegas pieces, shiny on the surface, but without substance. Nothing like the rings Arizona had given her. Those rings had meant everything to her. And the bracelet Mark had given her. It had a tiny cactus for Arizona, a music note for her, a heart with Sofia’s name and birthday, and a champagne bottle for Mark, because “I’m the life of the party, Torres, c’mon.” He had said that each year, he’d give her another charm on Sofia’s birthday. He hadn’t gotten around to going to the store before he died. He was supposed to give Sofia a matching one when she was old enough. 

God, she missed Mark. He would’ve known what to do. Well, he probably wouldn’t have let her and Arizona get so bad. He was always good at that, making things clear for her when she got lost in her emotions. That was what they did for each other, ensuring that they didn’t do something ridiculous and crazy without at least thinking it through first. He would’ve made Arizona have a real conversation before she ever thought to cheat with Lauren. He would’ve made them talk out their issues and smacked them both for being ridiculous. He would’ve never let her just walk out on her wife. 

Callie buried her face in her hands. How had everything gotten so bad? She had ruined her family. 

“Fuck, Sofia.” Callie shot to her feet. She had been so wrapped up with Penny that she hadn’t gone and checked on Sofia. And Sofia had heard the whole fight with Penny. Great, she couldn’t wait to hear what Arizona had to say about that. 

She rushed into Sofia’s room, expecting to see her daughter dutifully working on schoolwork, or reading, or dancing. But it was empty. It was incredibly messy, but Sofia was gone. 

“Sofia?” She called out, walking out to the living room. But it was also empty. She checked the spare bedroom, and her office, but Sofia was nowhere to be found. Panic gripped her heart. “Sofia!” She shrieked, tearing through the apartment again. Scrambling for her phone, she called Penny.

_ “I don’t want to talk to you.”  _

“Yeah, whatever, Sofia’s missing. Did you see her when you left?” 

_ “No. I hope you find her, Callie. Did you call Grace?”  _

“No, she’s my next call.” Without another word, Callie ended the call. 

She called any and everyone in New York that Sofia possibly could’ve gone to. The school, her extracurriculars, some of the kids she was friendly with, her nanny. But no one had so much as heard from her. She desperately didn’t want to call Arizona until it was absolutely necessary. Arizona would just freak out and then she’d have to get on a plane and she’d be a mess. 

She silently cursed Arizona’s love for  _ Law and Order _ as it gave her endless ideas of what could’ve happened to Sofia. She didn’t know why Sofia would leave. But Sofia had taken her backpack with her favourite books and the stuffed bunny rabbit Alex had given her when she was a baby that was never far from her side. Her coat and shoes weren’t at the front door either, so Sofia had left of her own accord. 

With a growing sense of dread, Callie called the police. A swarm of officers descended on her apartment, one questioning her. At some point, one of them tracked down Penny, resulting in an incredibly nasty voicemail from her ex-girlfriend. 

At one point, nearly six hours since she had last seen Sofia, it all caught up with her and she broke down in tears. One of the detectives who was waiting in case there was a ransom call sat next to her, awkwardly patting her knee. 

“It’s still so cold out and she’s so small and she...she...oh my God, what am I going to tell Arizona?” She sobbed into her hands. 

“Arizona? Do you have family there?” The detective asked kindly, offering her a tissue. The man had all the social skills of a sedated Cristina Yang. 

She managed to laugh through her tears. “No, no, she’s my ex-wife.” 

The man perked up. “Could she have taken her? Is this a custody issue?” 

“God, no. Arizona has full custody, but Sofia lives with me.” 

“Really? My ex has full custody of my boys and she barely lets me see them, even with out schedule. Are you positive that Arizona wouldn’t take her? Does she live in the city?” 

“No, no, she lives in Seattle. She would never. She, she won custody and still let me take our daughter across the country. Oh God, I’m a terrible mother. Why would I do that to Sofia? How could I do this to Arizona?” Her tears started back up in full force. 

“Uh, not to state the obvious, but she could’ve flown out and picked up Sofia.” 

“No, definitely not.” 

“Hey, I’m just saying. Most kidnappings are a custody issue. Just because she lives across the country-” 

“Arizona doesn’t fly. Ever.” 

“Ah, flying phobia? I’ve got a cousin like that.” 

Callie stared at the man in shock. He truly had as much tact as Cristina had in her little finger. “No, she was in a plane crash and lost in the woods for four days. Two people died. She doesn’t fly and she didn’t do this.” 

“Hey, I’m just trying to find your kid,” he said defensively, holding his hands up. 

“I’m going to make some coffee. I’m not sleeping until Sofia is found.” 

xx 

Arizona curled up in her bed, ignoring the aching loneliness in her chest. Sofia hadn’t called. She always did. Sofia never missed their calls, even if Arizona sometimes had to. 

The doorbell rang once. She glanced at her clock.  _ 21:34.  _ Who would be by at this time of night? April? Maybe Alex if he was tired of Meredith’s? But no, he wouldn’t come by because of Andrew. Andrew was at the hospital for the night. Richard never just stopped by. Maybe it was that nosy woman across the street who kept trying to set Arizona up with her son who lived in her basement. She shuddered at the thought as she grabbed her crutches, too tired to deal with her leg. 

The doorbell rang again and again and again. 

Maybe it was a murderer. A very polite murderer. She blamed Alex. He kept making her watch scary movies with him because he thought it was funny when she screamed. But they hadn’t done that in ages. Well, if it was a murderer, they’d probably win, given that she was on crutches with one leg. 

“I’m coming!” She yelled, hoping the person would stop the incessant ringing. “Alex, this isn’t funny. It’s the middle of the- Sofia?” 

“Mommy!” 

She stared down at her daughter in abject shock. Sofia was on her front doorstep, bundled up in her puffy jacket and a purple hat knitted by Mama O’Malley. All she had was her backpack and Dude the bunny rabbit. 

She blinked a few times, not quite believing her eyes. But then Sofia hugged her tight around the waist, mindful not to knock her crutches. 

Arizona stared out to the street, expecting Callie or at least Meredith or someone to appear. But there was just an airport taxi parked on the street. The woman in the driver’s seat waved to her once before driving off. 

“Sofia, what are you doing here? How… Sofia, it’s the middle of the week. You have school.” She ushered Sofia in, taking in her daughter’s red-rimmed eyes and trembling lower lip. “Sofia, what happened?” 

She gently unzipped her jacket, carefully balancing on one crutch. Once Sofia was appropriately unbundled, she pushed her onto the couch. Arizona examined her daughter for a moment, taking in the rumpled school uniform, her polo collar askew and her plaid skirt creased in strange directions. Arizona dropped onto the couch. Sofia immediately crawled into her lap like she used to when she was little. 

Arizona held Sofia close as Sofia sobbed into her shoulder. “Sofia, I need some more words.” 

Sofia sniffed, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. Arizona winced at that, but said nothing. 

“I lost your necklace and Penny stole it and Mama found it, but Penny got bad and she  _ hates _ me and I  _ hate  _ New York and I know you said we should make Mama happy but it’s the worst and I just want to be here with you,” Sofia took in a gasping breath, her cheeks flushed. “And Penny kept saying bad things about you and she said you shouldn’t talk about Daddy and there was so much yelling. I just wanted it to stop and I wanted my mommy.” She broke into a fresh wave of sobs. 

Arizona’s mind went reeling at the long rambling explanation Sofia had given. How could Callie let things get so bad that Sofia thought Penny hated her? And how could she let her bad mouth her and Mark in front of Sofia? Arizona couldn’t care less what Penny-freakin’-Blake thought of her, but she wouldn’t have that woman saying shit in front of her daughter. A quiet rage brewed within her as she stroked Sofia’s back, her sobs still coming in harsh waves. 

“Shh, Sof, it’s okay. Did you tell Mama what you were doing?” 

“No,” Sofia wailed, the sound only slightly muffled by Arizona’s shirt. “Mama’s gonna hate me and she’s gonna pick Penny over me and it’s all my fault!” 

“Okay, Sofia, your mama could never hate you. She’s probably scared and sad because you left. But she’d never hate you.” Arizona pressed a kiss to her still sobbing daughter’s head. “Sof, I’ll be right back, but I need to call Mama and let her know you’re here.” 

Arizona carefully extracted herself from Sofia’s surprisingly strong grip, passing her Dude for company while Arizona retrieved her phone. 

She was in the process of dialling Callie when Callie called her. 

_ “Arizona?” _ came Callie’s shaky voice, obviously worn from crying.  _ “I’m sorry to bother you, but, um, are you sitting down? I, I, I have some bad news. I’m so, so sorry. This is all my fault.”  _

“Callie, Callie,” she tried to speak over Callie’s incoherent rambling, but she just kept mumbling apologies, “Calliope!” She all but yelled, finally silencing Callie’s mumbling. “If this is about Sofia-” 

_ “Yes, it is and I’m so-”  _

“She’s here. With me. She just showed up at my door. In tears.” 

_ “She’s with you? She’s in Seattle? Are you serious?” _ Callie choked out. 

“Yes, she’s here and she’s distraught. What the fuck,” she ignored Callie’s gasp. If ever there was a situation for cursing, this was it, “did your Perfect Penny do to our daughter? The little I could understand from her crying, Penny did something about the necklace I gave her and then you were arguing and she was saying shit about me and something about Mark, she didn’t really elaborate, but it clearly was bad enough that she  _ ran away from home _ . So I’ll ask again, what the fuck happened tonight with you and Sofia and Penny? Because I swear to God, Callie...” 

_ “I’m booking the next flight to Seattle.” _

Arizona’s mouth twisted into a scowl. “Callie, she’s fine. She’s safe.”

_ “No, nevermind, I’m taking my dad’s plane-”  _

“Callie! Enough. She’s here with me. She’s safe. She’s terrified that you hate her. She says Penny hates her. What is going on over there? Why is my daughter miserable?” She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Callie, I need words.” 

_ “I don’t know. It just got out of hand. She needs to go to school. Oh my God, she has school tomorrow. Arizona, what-” _

“Callie, that is so not the point. I’ll sort out her school here.” 

_ “Sort out her school?”  _

“I’m certainly not sending her back to New York, that’s for damn sure.” Arizona heard some rustling as Callie packed a bag or something. “Callie, can you please just talk to me for once?” 

Arizona looked up as she heard little feet outside her room. Sofia ran into her room, jumping into her bed and curling up on her side. 

_ “Sorry, sorry, I’m just grabbing my stuff and then I need to tell the- Oh, hey, yeah, she went to see her mom in Seattle. She’s fine. Yeah, I’m going, okay, yeah, okay,”  _ Arizona listened to the one-sided conversation, her irritation slowly growing with her ex-wife.  _ “Sorry, just explaining to the police that Sofia is safe.”  _

“The police?” Arizona shrieked, wincing when Sofia covered her ears. “God, Callie, you couldn’t’ve given me a head’s up?” 

_ “I didn’t want to freak you out if she had just gone to a friend’s house.”  _

“Callie, I would like to know if our  _ six-year-old _ is wandering around New York City. Sof, honey, how did you even book the ticket? And get to the airport? And get here? Also, how did the airline let you on the plane?” She set the phone on speaker, resting it on the nightstand. 

Sofia unburied her face, her face flushed and wet. “Last time Abuelo visited he used his credit card to order dinner on Mama’s laptop so the card was saved and I just looked up flights and bought a ticket. And then I looked in Mama’s email for the magic letter to fly and changed the date and printed it. Then I went downstairs and Harry, ya know, the doorman, he called me a car and he said that it could just get charged or somethin’ to Mama. And then Susie, the really nice airline lady, was working and she knows that I fly by myself sometimes and so I said that Mama had an emergency she had to go help with so Susie brought me to the plane and ‘cause I had Mommy’s magic letter, they let me. And then I used the card Abuelo gave me to pay for the cab to Mommy’s.” Sofia burst into tears again, hiding her face again in Arizona’s chest. Without warning, she popped back up and choked out, “And, and, and I ate a bunch of candy and I had soda and now my tummy hurts so bad,” she wailed, her nails digging into Arizona’s arm. “I’m sorry, Mama.” 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, Sof. You’re safe and that’s all your mama and I care about.” Arizona petted Sofia’s hair, her heart aching for her daughter. “It’s fine. You’re such a clever little girl. You were very smart. But you can never do this again. And I think someone needs to have a talk with Abuelo with internet security and giving Sofia cash cards, really?”

_ “Yeah,” _ Callie finally said,  _ “I’ll talk with him. God, Sof, you scared me so badly. I’m just so happy you’re okay.”  _ There was quiet for a few minutes, the only sounds Sofia’s crying and the background noise of Callie’s cab. 

“Mama?” 

_ “Yeah, Sof?” _

“Are you gonna take me away again? ‘Cause I don’t wanna, I  _ hate  _ Penny. She’s never any fun and she says mean things I don’t like.” Arizona tugged Sofia closer until Sofia was curled up in her lap. “Please don’t make me go, Mommy.” 

“Don’t worry about all that right now, Sof. Everything will be okay.” Arizona pressed a kiss to Sofia’s temples. “Hey, Sof, you know, I think Andrew left some treats in the back corner of the drawer where I keep the baking stuff that you could raid. I even think there are some Oreos back there.” Sofia perked up slightly. Arizona would just have to replace Andrew’s secret sugar stash another day. “Why don’t you go grab them? But also grab the carrots and water out of the fridge.” 

Sofia lept to her feet, finally a smile on her tear-stained face. “I’ll be right back, Mommy.” 

Once she was gone, Callie broke down, quiet sobs coming over the phone. Arizona turned off speakerphone, cradling it on her shoulder. “We’ll talk about all of that when you’re here. But I’m not happy about this, Callie. Like, I don’t think I even have words to explain how mad I am.” 

_ “I know. I’m sorry. I just… why did you give her your necklace? Could you really not bear to have something I gave you? Just had to disinfect me from your life?”  _

Ignoring the cold sensation in her stomach at Callie’s words, she spoke quietly, “If that’s what you want to think, fine, I’ve never been good at changing your opinions of me. But I gave it to Sofia because she was so sad because she thought I didn’t love her and that’s why she was leaving Seattle. She doesn’t know how hard I fought for her, but I never could see you sad. And so I gave her my necklace so she could always have my heart with her. For once, Calliope, it didn’t have anything to with you. And for the record, I’ve never been able to ‘disinfect’ you from my life. I never wanted any of this.” She winced, instantly regretting her words. 

Thankfully, Sofia appeared, her arms filled with snacks. “I got ‘em, Mommy! Can we watch a movie and have a sleepover?” 

“‘Course, Sof. Say bye to Mama. You’ll see her tomorrow, okay?” 

“Bye, Mama, I’m sorry I scared you,” Sofia mumbled, staring at her feet. 

_ “Wait, Arizona-” _

“Bye, Callie. See you in the morning.” Blinking away some tears, she forced a smile for Sofia. “C’mon up, big girl and let’s find a movie.” 

Arizona tried to let her body relax enough to sleep,  _ the Sound of Music  _ playing quietly in the background. Sofia had passed out within the first twenty minutes, her little body exhausted from her grand adventure. Arizona wished she could sleep, but her mind was too busy with the events of the day. Sighing, she gathered the trash from Sofia’s snacking, moving it to the bedside table. She’d deal with the rest of it tomorrow. Carefully, she moved Sofia under the cover, briefly considering making her change out of her dirty school uniform. She went to grab Dude from where he had been abandoned earlier in the night, her fingers brushing against a piece of paper beneath him. Once Dude was cuddled in Sofia’s arms, Arizona grabbed the photo. 

“Oh,” she sighed as she stared at her own smiling face along with Callie and Mark and baby Sofia. She gently traced her fingertips over their faces. They had no idea that by that time next year Mark would be dead and Arizona would be so deep in her own personal hell that she couldn’t see Callie drowning too. God, they never even had a proper anniversary. They had less than a year of happiness. Arizona bit down on her fist to stifle a sob. The last thing she wanted was to wake Sofia. 

Tucking the well-worn photo into her waistband, she made her way back downstairs. 

Once she was a safe distance from Sofia, she let herself break down. Everything was so messed up. Callie and her stupid girlfriend had upset Sofia so much she had run across the country. Sofia hated it there and thought her mama hated her. Arizona hated herself for forcing Sofia into that situation almost as much as she hated Callie. And fuck, she missed Callie and she loved Callie and her heart hurt all the time. And freakin’ Alex was going to go to jail. 

She stared down at the wedding photo, quietly mourning for their old selves. When things had been so happy and shiny and perfect, before they knew true suffering. Before Mark had gone and died on them. 

“God, Mark, why did you have to give up? I know you wanted to be with Lexie and maybe I would’ve given up too if Callie was dead. But Callie needs you and Sofia smiles like you and you never got to see her grow up. She’s so smart. But she still wants her Daddy. And fuck, Mark, I need you too. You always knew how to fix everything.” She brushed her fingers over Mark’s goofy smile. He had been so good to her that day, holding her as she sobbed about her brother and then dancing with her and telling her he wouldn’t talk so she could pretend it was Tim. For such a jackass, Mark was a good guy. 

Arizona let herself cry freely, pressing her face against a throw blanket in an effort to stem her tears. She just hoped Andrew had to stay at the hospital until the next day. She liked Andrew well enough, but she didn’t want anyone to see her like this. 

At some point, she drifted into a sort hazy, sleep-like state, her eyes sore from crying. A quiet knock on the door broke her out of her trance-like state. She shook her head. She was probably just imagining it. She glanced at the clock on the microwave. Definitely way too early. 

She cuddled back into the couch, Sofia’s picture still clutched in her hand. Somehow, she hadn’t cried all her tears yet as she started crying once more. She wasn’t even sure what she was crying over at this point, mourning her marriage or how she had ruined her daughter or how she was still in love with her ex-wife and she didn’t know how to move on. 

“Arizona?” 

In shock, she tumbled off the sofa, desperately reaching for something to pull herself up with. “Callie?” Callie rushed to her side, then slowed, tentatively offering a hand for help. Arizona begrudgingly took it and they got her back on the sofa. Ignoring the new bruise on her hip, she stared up at Callie. “What are you doing here?” 

“I told you I was taking Dad’s plane.” 

“Yeah, no, I get how you’re in Seattle. Why are you in my house?” It came out far harsher than she intended, but admittedly her bandwidth for Callie at the moment was low. 

Callie nervously tugged at her hair and it would’ve been endearing if Arizona wasn’t so irritated with her. “You always put the spare key in the same place, under a potted plant. And I almost went to a hotel, and then I drove nearly all the way to Meredith’s instead, but then I didn’t want to explain what happened to whoever is living there these days and I just really needed to see Sofia. And you, I needed...I needed to see you.” She dropped onto the sofa next to Arizona, looking aged and tired. “I’m the worst mother in the world.” Arizona just stared at her, tracing the new lines of her face and the dark bruises beneath her eyes. She figured she properly looked at least as rough. At least Callie was in real clothes, not shorts and an old college shirt. “This is where you tell me I’m not the worst mother. That you can name like five mothers worse than me.” Callie twisted on the couch to face her, her dark eyes wide and almost hopeful. 

“Uh, full offence, Callie, but right now, I’m not feeling particularly generous towards you.” Callie winced and dropped her head to the back of the sofa. “Callie, what is going on? How, how could you let Penny say any of that in front of Sofia? We have never badmouthed each other in front of Sofia, even at our lowest points. Do you remember what you told me and Mark when you were pregnant and we literally could not have a civil conversation to save our lives?” 

The corner of Callie’s mouth ticked up slightly. “I told you that I didn’t care if you two hated each other, but if you ever said anything bad about the other to the baby I’d kick your asses.” 

“Yeah, and Mark and I kept our end of the deal. I mean, obviously, Mark has the advantage here. Kinda hard to be mad at him these days,” she choked out a short laugh, swiping at a few stray tears. “But you didn’t. I don’t care if it was Penny who said it. You brought her into Sofia’s life. You fought to be with her, for Sofia to be around her. And that’s on you, anything Penny said or did as it relates to Sofia, that’s on you.” 

Callie’s face flushed pink and Arizona hated that she still found Callie so beautiful. 

“I broke up with Penny.” 

“Huh.” 

“That’s all you have to say. Huh.” 

“Yep. I’m glad I suppose that she won’t be around Sofia, since apparently, she can’t keep her mouth shut around her. But honestly, it’s not my place to say anything else about your relationship.” Arizona paused, fixing her gaze on a photo of her and Sofia at Sofia’s first soccer game. Callie had taken the photo and for a few hours, they almost could pretend to be a happy family. “I suppose I’m sorry that you lost the woman you love, the person that made you happier than you’d ever been,” she said in almost a mocking tone, but she caught herself. No use kicking Callie while she was down. “I do want you to be happy, Callie. I really, really do.” 

Callie’s fingers brushed along the seam of the couch almost mindlessly. Then her brow furrowed and she tugged Sofia’s photo free. “What’s this? Why...why do you have this out?” 

“It’s not mine. It’s Sofia’s. She had it with Dude.” 

Callie chuckled, the sound slightly hollow. “I can’t believe you let Karev name him.” Then her face fell. “Where did she get that? From you?” She traced her fingers in the same pattern that Arizona had. 

“Uh, no, I know where my copy is. I figured she got it from you.” 

“I mean, I suppose she could’ve with all the packing.” 

“It’s pretty beat up. She clearly looks at it a lot.” Arizona let out a heavy sigh. 

“We look so happy.” 

“We  _ were  _ so happy,” corrected Arizona sharply. 

Callie looked up at her, her eyes watery. “Yeah, yeah, we were.” Her eyes darted between the photo in her hands and Arizona, almost nervously. “You said, you said you never wanted this. Wh-what did you mean?” 

Arizona’s hands curled into fists and she drew her good leg up against her chest, putting a barrier between her and Callie. “I never wanted this.” 

“What? Sofia?” 

Arizona’s head snapped to Callie. “What? No, God, no. Callie, how?” she croaked out. 

Callie had the good grace to look ashamed. “I don’t know. I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Sofia is the best thing that ever happened to me. The best. I would choose her every time in every world. That little girl is my entire world, my entire heart. God, Callie, is that really what you think of me? I mean,” she laughed, high and cruel, “I know that’s what you think of me. You and your lawyer made that pretty clear. I’m a work-obsessed slut who got tricked into being a mother. Does that about sum it up?” 

“Arizona-” 

“Callie, you let that happen.” 

“You got a lawyer!” 

“Because you wanted to just take away my daughter to chase some resident across the country. I knew it was a bad idea then and I just let myself get caught up with my constant need for you to be happy and I lost sight of what’s actually important: Sofia. Everything I have done is for Sofia, and, and for you.” Callie chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully, her eyes fixated on Arizona’s face. “I wanted so desperately for you to smile again, to not look so incredibly miserable that I let you take Sofia, even after I fought tooth and nail for her, even after everything you said, after you dragged half of our friends and colleagues into the middle of it. I just… Callie….” She looked pleadingly towards Callie, desperate for her to understand. 

“So what didn’t you want, Arizona? What did you mean? Explain it to me,” Callie demanded, instinctively reaching for Arizona’s hand resting on her left leg. “Please.” 

“Fine, but only if you tell me why you broke up with Penny.” 

Callie’s thumb stroked slowly over the back of Arizona’s hand. Arizona hated the butterflies in her stomach, but another part of her was deeply thrilled at the amount of contact she had with Callie. God, when did she turn 15 again, just so thrilled that a pretty girl would hold her hand? 

“You know  _ The Wizard of Oz _ ?” 

Arizona’s eyebrows shot up. “Yes, Callie. I work with children.” 

“Right, of course. Well, you know how it’s black and white at the beginning?” Arizona nodded, not sure where Callie was going with this. “After George and Erica, even when I was with them, it was like that. I was living, but it was all in black and white, but I didn’t know any better because that was all I knew. I was just drifting.” Callie slowly intertwined their fingers, watching as Arizona eventually squeezed her hand back. “And then, some crazy hot, super perky peds surgeon kissed me in a dirty bar bathroom.” Arizona pointedly ignored how her cheeks were flushing. It was dark, Callie probably didn’t notice. (She totally did) “And it was like I landed in Oz and everything was in colour for the first time.” Arizona shifted so she was fully facing Callie, tucking her leg so she almost sitting cross-legged. 

“Callie….” 

“No, no, you deserve to know. Erica said something to me once how when we first slept together, it was like when she got glasses and she could finally see leaves, not just blobs of green. Of course, she was talking about being gay and it freaked me out, but not really the point. For me, you made me see colours. Everything was better. Even at our worst points, even then, it was still all in colour. Like Dorothy still had to see the Wicked Witch, but the world was in technicolour.” 

“Callie, this metaphor is seriously complicated.” 

Callie groaned. “Ugh, I’m no good at this. Okay, so before you, everything was black and white. Then with you, there was colour. And then I didn’t have you anymore.” Arizona almost pointed out that Callie had been the one to leave, but she figured this wasn’t the time for semantics. “And it was like the end of the movie. There wasn’t colour anymore, but I knew what the world looked like in colour. And with Penny, with Penny, I thought I could see the colours again. I tried, I really did. But God, I could barely even tell her I loved her. And we were standing there, screaming at her and she kept saying that I didn’t support her, even though I ruined everything to follow her and I realized that there weren’t any colours. So what was the point?” Callie shrugged, a sad smile on her lips. “It didn’t help that she insulted both of our parenting, basically said we spoil and coddle Sofia and then accused you of trying to influence Sofia by talking about Mark, which by the way, is awesome that you go and see Mark and talk to Sof about him. It’s just, she doesn’t get it. Maybe she saw colours with me, but I couldn’t see them with her.” 

“Callie, honestly, I don’t think I fully get the colours thing, but I do get the Penny and Sofia stuff.” 

“Oh, and she called you a slut, just FYI.” 

“Gee, thanks, Callie.” Arizona pouted, pulling slightly away, but Callie didn’t let go. “For the record, and it is on public record, you basically also did that.” 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know if I ever apologized for that. I got so caught up with everything and I didn’t want to get left in another airport and I was trying so hard for Penny. I just, I didn’t see the forest for the trees.” 

Arizona’s nose crinkled. “Are we back to Erica Hahn’s sexuality metaphors?” 

“I’m trying to apologize here,” replied Callie, squeezing her fingers again. 

“I can see that. You said she made you happy, the happiest you’ve ever been.” 

“I just… I didn’t want to be pathetic again.” 

Eyebrows arched, Arizona said, “Callie, you’ve never been pathetic. You’re Callie Torres. You’re a superstar with a scalpel. You literally build bones.” 

“You clearly weren’t around for the whole George and Izzie and Erica period. I described it to Mark like getting inches cut off slowly. Each time, I got smaller and smaller. I was fully pathetic.” 

“No, no, you weren’t.” 

“How would you know?” 

“Because we talked once.” 

Callie’s eyes went comically wide. “What are you talking about?” 

Arizona openly laughed at Callie’s reaction. “It was post-George, pre-Erica, based on the fact that you definitely thought you were straight at the time-” 

“What do you mean I ‘thought’ I was straight? Are you saying you knew I was bi before I did?” 

Arizona shrugged a shoulder non-committedly. “You stare at boobs way too long for a straight girl. You know, now that I say that, it makes sense why you and Mark were such good friends.” Callie rolled her eyes, but a soft smile graced her face. “Anyway, you asked for a peds consult on a kid who had been in some sort of accident. I don’t even remember what. But his spine was messed up and I think he had been impaled on something.” 

“Wait, wait, are you saying we had an entire surgery together like a year before we actually met?” Arizona nodded, almost sheepishly, well aware that her cheeks were burning. “Arizona!” She smacked her shoulder with the hand not holding tight to Arizona’s hand. “You never told me.” 

“It never came up?” 

“We were married! Wait, what did we talk about?” 

“Um, nothing much really. I think we talked about the weather some. Honestly, I didn’t really know who you were. I realise that you were like the epicentre of Seattle Grace drama at the time, but there was a whole other world of lesbian drama that I’ll admit I was more invested in. And you thought you were straight! But I never thought you were pathetic,” she finished softly, brushing her thumb over Callie’s knuckles. She had always loved Callie’s hands. “You seemed… strong. Your makeup was, um, kinda frightening, but you always seemed kinda kickass.” 

“I’m just trying to process that we met like a year before we, you know,  _ met _ . Also, a lesbian underworld of drama? Really? Wait, is that when you slept with all those nurses?” 

Arizona groaned, curling into the sofa. “Yeah. I mean, it really wasn’t that exciting. But lesbians do love drama and everyone sleeps with everyone and it gets very complicated, very quickly. And they get  _ mean  _ and way too overly attached super quickly. And then it’s a whole thing.” 

“Oh my God. It was fate for us to meet, unite the straight and lesbian gossip mills of Seattle Grace,” Callie cackled. “But how did nobody, like nobody, ever hear about all this?” 

“Nurses love me, I guess. And I bring them cookies at Christmas. And I save tiny humans, so…” 

“I could’ve been seeing colours a whole year earlier!” 

“Uh, no, probably not. I was, uh, not in a good place. There was a reason I was behaving like that.” Arizona rubbed at the bridge of her nose, not loving the lingering on her, as her mother liked to call them, meltdown years, the years following Tim’s death when she broke up with her longterm girlfriend and went a bit wild. “I would’ve been pretty horrible to you.” Realization dawned over Callie’s face. “So, yeah.” 

“I’m sorry. But how did you never mention this?” 

“It just never came up. I mean, we just talked about the rain, how lame is that? I always liked our story better. Even if Mark always reminded everyone it was in a dirty bar bathroom.” Callie’s face softened into a fond smile. “Ortho, right?” She added, searching Callie’s face for anything. Callie shook her head, still smiling. “We’re way off track, though. You were saying about Penny?” 

“Oh, um, yeah, I just, I had been the romantic failure of Seattle Grace, or whatever it’s called these days, for so long that I didn’t want to be anymore and you just seemed so fine and just like, normal. And I wasn’t. I just wanted…. I don’t know. I wanted to prove to everyone that I was happy and I wasn’t broken.” 

“I’m sorry,” Arizona murmured, the words hanging in the early morning stillness. 

“What for?” 

“Breaking you.” Callie stilled, like a deer in headlights. “I do really want you to be happy, Callie.” 

“Tell me,” Callie finally said, her voice slightly hoarse as if she was holding back tears. “What did you mean when you said you never wanted this?” 

Arizona wanted nothing more than to shrink back from Callie. In fact, melting into the couch wouldn’t be the end of the world, if they’re continuing with the Oz metaphors. But Callie had explained why she broke up with Penny. So fair’s fair. 

Arizona absently drummed her fingers against her thigh, slowly gathering her words. “I… I miss you all the time. Like I mean, all the time. It’s been years, and I still always look for you, even though I know you’re in New York. I know you’re, or you were with Penny. But God, Callie, I miss you, and this is terrible, like really terrible, but like I miss my leg. It’s like there’s a piece of me missing.” Callie’s eyebrows lift in disbelief. “Not to make it all about the leg again. And it was hard enough missing you, but I had Sofia some of the time and she’s enough, she’s more than enough. And then you took Sofia too. I know I let you,” she exhaled shakily, picking at a loose thread on her shorts. “I know I did that. But I just kept losing pieces of myself and I don’t really know what’s left at this point.” 

“So you meant that you never wanted me to take Sofia? Arizona, that’s… that makes no sense. You told me to take her. That she needed two happy moms. But what, you were just miserable?” 

“No, Callie, you’re missing the point-” 

“Then explain it!” 

“I’m trying-” 

“Not really! You’re just talking around it!” 

Arizona squeezed her eyes shut, frustration and affection swirling around inside her. “I...I…” She swallowed. She shouldn’t do this. “Callie, I can’t… I can’t do this….” 

“Arizona, you said you would. If I explained about Penny, you would explain what you never wanted. You owe me.” There it was, that slight edge of entitlement that crept into Callie’s tone in arguments. “Arizona, you-” 

“I never wanted a divorce! I never wanted you to leave!” Arizona wrenched her hand away from Callie, her touch like a firebrand. Part of her wanted to believe that Callie maybe felt the same way with the colours and the whole convoluted thing. But she lived in absolute terror that Callie didn’t and she would shatter and nothing could put her back together. “I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t want Sofia to turn into something we fought over and look what happened. I didn’t want to watch you move on and seem so happy when I felt like I was dying on the inside. God knows I’ve tried to be okay with this. I tried to move on, but no one’s you. No one else has colours,” she admitted, fighting the tears in the corners of her eyes. 

Callie slowly reached forward to brush a stray tear from her cheekbone. Her warm palm gently cupped Arizona’s cheek. “I’m tired of black and white.” 

Arizona leaned slightly into Callie’s hand, relishing in the familiar feeling of her skin. “Me too,” she whispered, her eyes drifting shut. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel Callie shift closer. “Callie, don’t do this if you aren’t 100 percent in. I can’t… I can’t let you in again if you’re not in this with me.” 

“Arizona, look at me.” 

Arizona blinked her eyes open, finding Callie nearly nose-to-nose, so close she can see her faint freckles again. 

“I love you. You love me. And none of the rest of it matters, right?” 

“Right.” 

She wasn’t sure which of them leaned in first, but it didn’t matter. It felt like coming home. It reminded her of their first kiss so many years ago, soft, tentative, comforting. Arizona pulled away first, searching Callie’s face for any sign of regret or reluctance. But there was nothing but affection. 

“I need us to take things slow. We can’t rush into this. And Sofia is moving back to Seattle.” She rested her forehead against Callie’s, reaching up to play with the short hair at the back of Callie’s neck. 

“I completely agree. And I’m moving back with Sofia. And we’ll take things slow and we’ll actually talk. We never were very good at that, were we?” 

Arizona laughed, feeling lighter than she had in years. “No, no, we weren’t.” 

Callie pulled away from her slightly to yawn. “Sorry, it’s been a long day.” 

Arizona also yawned, rubbing at her eyes. “Yeah, it has. I’d offer you my bed, but Sofia’s in there. And Sofia’s bed’s small and then it’s DeLuca’s room.” Callie waved her off, stretching back on the couch. She tugged insistently at Arizona’s arm, slowly dragging Arizona towards her. “What’re you doing?” 

“Going to sleep before Sofia wakes up in like two hours.” Arizona opened her mouth to protest, but then Callie wrapped a warm arm around her waist, holding her close. She almost wanted to cry at how good it felt, but she was fully out of tears. “Is this going too fast?” Callie whispered against her neck. 

Arizona shivered slightly but pressed further back into Callie. “No. We still need to figure out everything with Sofia.” 

“I know.” 

“And I’m still kind of, very mad about everything that went on today.” 

“Would it make you feel better knowing that Penny was questioned by the NYPD in suspicion of kidnapping Sofia?” 

“Almost.” 

Callie shifted slightly behind her, pulling the photo out from where it must have been poking her. She set it on the ground in front of them. 

Arizona tried to fight the tiredness, but it was a losing battle. 

Just as she was drifting off, she could’ve sworn she heard Callie whisper, “I can see the colours again.” 

xx 

“Mommy! Mama!” 

Arizona sat straight up, confusion and exhaustion melding together for a very unpleasant wake-up. An arm clutched at her waist and someone grumbled behind her. She blinked against the bright morning sunshine, the events of the past twelve hours coming back to her. She glanced behind her, confirming that Callie was actually still there. 

“Come back to bed,” grumbled Callie, her face pressed into a pillow. 

“Mommy, why are you guys sleepin’ on the couch?” Sofia asked as she climbed up on their legs. 

“Well, Mama got here super early and we were sleepy but you were sleeping in  _ my  _ bed and Mama’s too tall for your bed.” 

“Then why didn’t you sleep in my bed? Why’d you share the couch? It’s so small.” 

“Um, ‘cause it’s comfortable. 

Callie grumbled something under her breath, rolling slightly onto her back so she could pull Arizona back towards her. Arizona settled against her, quickly falling into old habits. Sofia scrambled over them, wiggling on top of them until she was satisfied. 

“You’re right, Mommy. It is comfy.” Callie groaned as Sofia elbowed her in the stomach. “Sorry, Mama. Are you mad?” 

“No, Sof. I was just scared. You can’t ever do that again though.” 

“Can I stay here? With Mommy?” 

“How about we both stay here? And by here, I mean, in Seattle.” Callie corrected quickly. Sofia bounced in excitement, causing both of them to groan. 

Arizona intervened before anyone got seriously bruised, “Hey, Sof, you wanna help me make some breakfast?” 

Sofia narrowed her eyes, nearly pressing her nose against Arizona’s. “Waffles?” 

“Sure, go get the waffle maker out and I’ll be right in.” Sofia lept off of them, pushing off of Callie’s stomach. “Morning,” Arizona hummed, turning in Callie’s arms so she could see her face. 

“Ugh, mornin’.” Callie pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Arizona’s mouth. “Can I kiss you?” 

Arizona answered her by pulling Callie in for a kiss. Callie wove her fingers into Arizona’s hair, holding her close. Only when they heard a loud crash and then, “It’s fine!” did they pull apart. 

“We better go help her before she burns the house down,” Callie muttered with an affectionate eye roll. 

“ Just one more kiss.” 

“Whatever you want, dear.” 

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: i actually hate wizard of oz, but here we are. 
> 
> also I do feel bad for penny, but someone had to be kinda super sucky and I don't really care lol 
> 
> say hey on tumblr at avasharpest 
> 
> much love xx


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